A Recovery Prayer

I am still trying to explain the awesomeness of recovery to those new in recovery.  It’s a challenging topic to describe because there is no logical point of reference for something you’ve never experienced.

What I try my best to convey: If you can just dig in for a little while and tough it out your thinking will change. Your thoughts about life will get better. It won’t always feel the way it feels now.

How it feels now:

When you are new you approach the future as if there are ONLY two options:

1. Don’t get sober and be miserable forever.
2. Get sober and be miserable for an undetermined amount of time. (And maybe even longer.)

Neither of these looks appealing. I get it.

What I am suggesting is that you hold onto the possibility that your perspective on life will change—radically. Your life will get better.

You: “Better how?”

Me: “How do you want it to be better?”

There is no one answer because everyone has a different version of better. There are some obvious ways it gets better: better relationships, jobs, and opportunities to name a few.

The real gem of recovery, however, is stepping out of yourself so you can step into your life.  And you can only step out of yourself once you’ve gotten to know yourself. You can’t detach from something you don’t see. Until we see all the garbage you’ve attached to your life you can never be free. Never.

Recovery is about looking at all that minutia and figuring out precisely who’s really living inside you. This is why we participate in groups, meetings, and therapy. It gives us the ability to see ourselves in a new light.

Most of us don’t have an inkling who we are when we sober up; a thought at which most of us take offense. (For what it’s worth, it took me several years to warm up to this idea.) Until I could look at myself honestly, I wasn’t capable of change, and I certainly couldn’t adapt.

I am as willing today as I was 13 years ago. I no longer pray for continued sobriety, because I have that today. Today, I am grateful for continued sobriety.

My recovery prayer today:

Creator, whatever you are, wherever you are, be with me. I forget to leave the house with you some days. I know you understand. I forget to invite you in during moments of confusion, frustration, and self -doubt. These are precisely the moments I need you to show up. I am welcoming you now for the whole day because I will forget the beauty and rhythm with which you arrive. I will think I am alone because I will forget that the Universe is in perfect harmony—always. Remind me—all day—that this is not the Real World. This is a place for me to learn to love. Help me Love today, even when I forget to invite you in. Especially when I forget to invite you in. Amen

I cannot think of one thing that has not gotten better over the years of my recovery. When the moments get tough, I still need to dig in and tough it out for a little while because my thinking always changes—even if the situation doesn’t. This is what recovery is about.

Recovery is about seeing a third option:

3. Get sober and realize that I can radically change the way I see me and my world.

Don’t miss the opportunity of knowing you. You won’t regret it. Promise.

♦

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