Embracing the help of others

When you are capable of doing for yourself, it is best to do for yourself. However when you’ve tried and you find you cannot, it is best to ask for help.

Asking for help can be both a strength and weakness depending on your point of origin when you ask. I’d like to discuss asking from a place of strength. That means, literally, assist, bring benefit, make bearable. It is not meant to be rescue me or make my life easy. The premise of this help means 1) I have tried and now recognize I cannot accomplish on my own, and 2) I recognize that I am worthy of something more and am willing to receive it.

If I am new to sobriety, struggling in my sobriety (regardless of sober years), or not yet sober, there is wisdom in these three words, “Please help me.” So why is it we have trouble asking for help?

The obvious answer is that we haven’t tried to do it on our own—yet. If we haven’t we should. Discovering what we are truly capable of (without assistance) is a reward in and of itself. We recognize (quickly) that much of what we accomplish comes with the support of many outside sources. A simple task like getting food is the result of many people’s efforts: farmers, laborers, truckers, and grocery stores to name a few. There is little we do in our daily life that doesn’t require assistance.

Why then do we embark on something as life-changing as sobriety with little or no assistance? Do we honestly think we can just self-will our way through it? Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in the power of free-will. I just believe in the humility that comes from genuinely asking for help. There is arrogance in us when we say that we know that we already have the answer. We feel as though we don’t need the other person’s point of view because ours is already complete. Our perspective on life is so comprehensive, so broad, that we needn’t utter the words, “please help me.”

I found a blog today called MaryChristineG, Another resource for when I need to reach out and connect in my sobriety.  Here is my truth: the longer I am sober, the more I realize I do not know. Not that my mind is getting smaller, but that the knowledge in the Universe is getting so much bigger. So for today I am going to read something new. I am going to think about it deeply. I am not going to be afraid to ask for help because I know I have tried on my own. Today I know how to say, “Please help me.” Three little words that, did and continue to, change my life.