You’re giving yourself excuses to get un-sober

No thought leaves me unaffected. If I am struggling to maintain my sobriety it is because I have willingly allowed myself to have the thought that I will not be able to continue living a sober life. Once I have welcomed this thought, it begins its sweet attack me. At moments I am aware the thought is engaging me, at others I am not.

My ability to receive a second thought is all that can save me from my demise. Few move through these early days unaffected. The resistance is part of the journey. It’s a packaged product. It is not a fruit stand where we choose our pieces. It’s a vending machine. We either get the whole candy bar or none at all.  We don’t get joy until we walk through the pain we have created. There are no shortcuts—for anyone. No quick fixes (and we addicts abhor this fact).

Now we are not suggesting that we stay stuck in the pathetic pain. What we are suggesting is that we feel it and then release it; let an improved thought permeate our mind. “Feel it” can include, but is not limited to:

  • Journaling straight – a one way dialogue about the feeling.
  • Journaling A/B – one voice must be the voice of total Love. If “A” is our voice, let “B” speak as the voice of Love. A conversation with two “A” voices in non-productive and dangerous. This is what is happening when we choose to use again.
  • Conversation with a trusted source.

Ignoring the feeling will never solve what needs to be solved. Keeping it secret and silently plotting to drink again “IS” what you need to grow through. The drinking, at this moment, is not our problem. The thought that we WANT to drink is the problem. The issue is that in a completely sober state we think it is a good idea to drink again.  It’s understandable (in an unfortunate way) that once we are drunk we continue.

What’s the excuse for when we’re clean?

We can’t face life —our life. If we let that feeling attack us it will take us out 100% of the time. Do not let it! Receiving a new thought is the ONLY thing keeping us from picking up.

Do not think that that those inner machinations are harmless, they are! Our inability to learn to differentiate our own thinking (higher self/lower self)  is what’s keeping us from a new life.

Stop plotting, hunting-down even welcoming excuses to drink again. If you weren’t an addict you won’t be here in the first place. It doesn’t work. Maybe it did once upon a time, but that fairy tale is over. It’s time to grow (up). It’s time to step into a more vibrant version of you. She’s there. And she’s been waiting for you to get to know her.

Choose again my friend.

No Responses to “You’re giving yourself excuses to get un-sober

  • I love this blog, its a kick arse no messing around quit your pity party wake up to yourself piece of writing!
    I have reposted this on my face book page, I think your views on getting sober are fantastic and your work is brilliant thank you for being a realist and taking the approach within 12 steps that isn’t about asking some god to forgive us for our addictions, thank you for putting a realistic view on addiction and for putting it out there.

    • I am thrilled that you love it. There’s more than one way, this is mine.
      ps. I love that word … repost.

  • E: Thanks for comment and link in your recovery diary. You can get more information on this technique in my book. I agree, a rather passive, yet extremely effective technique when done properly: One voice loving (to a fault) and only loving, the other voice—anything you want it to be.

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