We’ve decided to make some life changes. 

We struggle brushing our teeth with the opposite hand (last week’s post). This four minutes a day, how challenging could it be? But it is. It’s becomes inconvenient, too hard, we forget, it’s not comfortable, it’s awkward, it’s just not working, it doesn’t “feel” right, this can’t be the answer, this is stupid, blah, blah, blah.

Yet we embark on redirecting our life (get/remain sober) and we resist four minutes a day of conscious thought.

This isn’t about our teeth. This is about the power of the subconscious mind. It’s about the fact that we are deeply rooted in doing life/things the exact same way—every day.  It’s about busting this notion that change is easy … that change is comfortable … that change is thoughtless.

Let’s blow the lid off this:

Deciding to get sober is (almost) the easy part compared to the confrontation of actually being sober for any amount of “quality” time.

We’ve believed the issue is about abstaining or controlling our drinking.

Wrong!

Guess again. People with “quality” sobriety have spent a massive amount of time getting to know them-self  They’ve felt feelings they swore they didn’t have, vocalized words they never imagined whispering, admitted truths better left in a locked journal. And they’ve done this year after year.

Sobriety, if it’s working, is confrontational. How can it not be?

Getting to know self can hurt. It doesn’t hurt forever (otherwise no one would do it) but it does hurt.

Sober means we can no longer turn to the all-inclusive answer of alcohol …drinking for celebration, isolation, and everything in between. We need to find a completely NEW WAY to manage our fear.

When given the choice we might contemplate the following:

  1. Continuing drinking = predictable mayhem, difficulty level 10
  2. Stopping drinking = unpredictable mayhem, difficulty level 9.7

We want a sober life to feel like a two. It doesn’t! It can’t! It won’t! (At least not at the beginning.) 

It feels like a 9.7 and we step in anyway.

Until our fear of staying the same is greater than our fear of change we sadly remain imprisoned.

As long as we are afraid to step in life remains the same. Whatever we are facing today in our sobriety welcome it. Let it talk to us. It’s there for a reason. Write … let that emotion/thought express itself. Ignoring feelings is like ignoring a fire, it gets louder, bigger, and more destructive.

Don’t run away from the discomfort. Feeling the discomfort is the way out. There is no other way … unless you are willing to give up your sobriety.

For me this is no longer an option. Today, I find a way to face the feeling. It can’t prevail if I don’t let it.

 

There is a solution for every problem we face. We have to want it. We must make the first move. Today I’m starting with my teeth … that I can do.

Believe in you.

(It’s so cliche we don’t even think about what it means anymore.)

Believe in you.

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