Nobody makes me feel anything I don’t already feel

I am wondering how humankind got it that “others” make us feel a definite way. This is classic behavior for an addict; however I see it equally as widespread in the non-addicted community.

We are aghast at how someone has “made” us feel. Then we feel entitled in blaming them for feelings we now house in our mind. They’re not within a mile of us and we are angry at them. Really? This is so acceptable in our day to day life and it is so contrary to truth and empowerment. I get a lot of argument from clients on this one. Nevertheless it remains true; no one makes us feel anything.

Here’s the fact. The reason it hurts so badly, cuts so deeply, is because secretly (and/or shamefully) I believe there is some truth to what they said. That IS why it ruffles my feathers. They didn’t make me feel anything. They simply amplified something I was running away from feeling.  And in order that I not be confronted with self, I place the blame on them and what they said. I have silent discussions in my head about how they wronged me with their words, and I will eagerly talk about it with any listening ear. (After all I need backing to justify my state of mind.)

I behave as if they reluctantly got in my head and placed an emotion there for the first time. And because they placed this ill-feeling in my head, I am forced to suffer. This is just not possible. If something is not true, it rolls right past my mind. Most of the day is dismissed (aka missed) and repetitive. Not sure on the stats, but one of you will let me know; somewhere around 75 percent. So, if this much of my day is just rolling by, why did I grab onto this particular thought? If it sticks to my awareness and angers (or pleases) me it was already there to begin with. My brain is welcoming it, maybe not on a conscious level, rather a subconscious level.

This charged feeling I have within is what I get to observe and change—not them, me! Here’s the rule: If something is bugging me I “get” to look within—period. Seeing how it applies, applied, effects, serves, or haunts me is the solution. The answer, freedom, or peace of mind never arrives in being angry at them.

Nobody treats me worse then I treat myself—believe it! (or not) We were given the gift of choice. I always get to choose how and what I feel.


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