~Ava … my #1 healer~
The world feels like hype.
Everything seems exacerbated and overly-epic. Everything has so much meaning, that none of it has meaning. The rawer I get the rawer the world gets. I am questioning everything I have ever been taught. I am feeling miniscule with my limited answers.
I am even questioning today’s post.
“People new in sobriety aren’t looking for a spiritual journey,” I say. They look for an elixir they can take, twice daily, to solve the looming issues—understandably so. We live in a world of quick fix, triple blinking neon, buy-it-now-and-you-will-be-happy-forever propaganda.
We question, with stunned concern, why addiction is on the rise.
It’s like the story of the guy who steals your wallet and then helps you look for it. Really, we really need to do research to find out why kids are opting to drug and drink at a younger age. We need more funding to find stats that say, “Kids who start drinking in their teens have a greater propensity toward alcoholism.” Are you bleeping kidding me?
Why do we research with questioned anticipation the results? We stimulate the kids with all the wrong stuff and wonder why they turn out so ill-equipped at life. (And it’s not because they missed the Family Living/Health Ed/Sex Ed class in seventh grade.) How are we supposed to change the stats if alcohol, war, and conflict are glamorized? Where there was once a wall between illusion and reality there is now a thin veil. We need to change the direction of humanity. Because in my mind, after a few generations it’s easy to see the deep seeded roots in our subconscious. (And I, for one, have been waiting for someone else to do what I could be doing.)
Addiction is, but one, manifestation of disease.
Disease being: the mind ill at ease. All form of disease is the mind expressing imbalance. When disease occurs something has gone wrong. So, why is it that the options for addicts are so limited and financially unavailable? No one tells us to go to a meeting or find a higher power when we have the flu. We have more options for recovering from a headache than we do for recovering from addiction.
The world just feels like a giant cosmic joke to me today.
It appears there are two types of people on the planet. It’s the Sightless and the Insightful. The problem is that the Sightless have the majority of power. And because we co-exist the Insightful are going in whatever direction the Sightless are driving.
What does all this mean?
If you are struggling with your addiction (alcohol, drugs, sugar) do not feel like there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a person trying to break free of a mindset created (in part) by a world that is driven by greed and selfishness. (These are not alcoholic traits, but human traits.) If you are to achieve sobriety you will make the most confrontational transition of your life. Sobriety, by nature, is big time building. You’ve been a person trying to build a house with a screwdriver, but no screws. It won’t work. You can pray for the screws all you want. (So far, I’ve never seen them fall from the sky.) What does fall from the sky, however, is opportunities or people. And until you seize some of these new resources to help you locate some screws, you’re stuck. For some, this source is as plain as a 12-step meeting. For many (like me) it is not.
My list of resources (in order of accessing) through several different addictions:
- 3-day medical detox
- 12-step meetings/sponsor/program mentors *(still use)
- marriage counselor/therapist* (starting again, 5’s a charm 🙂 )
- psychologist/family counseling
- psychiatrist*
- life coach*
- light worker*
- gym trainer
- medical doctor*
- holistic doctor*
What I have found:
- The journey is profoundly spiritual in nature, but it did not start out that way.
- The world doesn’t make any more sense to me now that I’ve typed this post.
- I feel better letting you know that the way to heal is bigger than you might now realize. You only need to take the first step today. So many people possess so much knowledge. Get help. It’s okay to ask for help. Going it alone is futile.
~Keely & Boog … my other #1 healers~
Find the guidance you need to live an extraordinary life.
I’ll be doing the same.
Together we can make a difference.
We all deserve a good life.
Hi Lisa, are you okay?? You’re writing seems pretty deep lately.. Know that I am here for you as you were for me!!
All good with me. Enjoying my life. So much more than just getting sober. It truly is life changing.
Hope you’re okay! Lisa
Sent from my iPhone
Hi Lisa,
I am good. Feeling as though the detox is clearing away the fog, not the other way around. I feel like so many are struggling and blaming them self (solely) for lack of progress. I want people to know it’s okay to ask for help. Not to feel bad because they can’t do it alone. Like you just said, “so much more than just getting sober.” I feel like I am seeing more clearly than ever actually. I want so much for people to succeed. Growing through the pain is possible. Glad to hear you are well. You are one that had definitely embraced life and I love watching you grow. Thank you also for the gift of support. You’re a sweetheart. xox Lisa
I wish I could reach through the computer and give those “healers” of yours a big snuggle, they are so adorable! The other thing that reaches right through the screen are your raw emotions. You words are so powerful, and your courage in sharing your emotions is inspiring. I aspire to be as strong and committed as you are. My prayers continue to be with you!
J, Felt the hugs, thank you. What a journey. Not sure where I’m headed, but I do know that I am growing leaps and bounds. Your friendship is a blessing. xox
I’m with miracle on this – gotta give those healers a big squishy squeeze for me. Too cute.
Well, what can I say, Lisa.
Raw in nature, but elegant in repose. You’ve got Big Picture stuff here, coming from experience and intimate knowledge of these things. Very true about the condition that addiction has in our society – the lack of understanding, funding and compassion is outstanding and saddening.
On a personal level, I can’t identify with the drugs, but put me down for Big Booze and Sloppy Sugar (thanks for including that). Alcohol is something that my 12-step program (preceded by detox and treatment) and connection to the Creator has helped with. I have done the things I need to do with diligence and with the immediacy and despair of a drowning man. Sugar…well, that will probably need some 12-step work too, frankly. And that’s ok. I will reach out to those who have gone before me.
What I truly love about your post (and how you approach everything) is the openness and honesty that oozes out. There is no sense of hesitation in expounding and demonstrating the things that have helped you, and more importantly, *continue* to help you. Like the wicked analogy of the screws and the house, we can pray all we want, but it’s only through others do we have our prayers answered. But we have to be open to it, to have our ego and guard down to allow others to enter our heart and our minds and our lives to do what they were meant to do. Sounds lofty, but as you point out, it can be as simple as making a doctor’s appointment. It could be asking someone for help. It could be reaching for the phone and just talking to someone for a few minutes about something that is bothering you, or that you seek counsel on.
It sounds like the more that you are being stripped, in terms of what does not serve you, you are more awake to things…and this need not be an exercise in being morose or anything like that. But as you point out, there is more clarity happening for you. And you can feel that emanating from this post.
Love it, love it, love it.
I too wish to get to a point where that happens to me, where I look around me and within me and see more truth.
What a deal.
Thanks for this…wonderful. And I too hope you are feeling better. 🙂
Paul
Paul,
Your words are golden for me. Thank you for your love and support. I must admit I am feeling so confronted with the “totally unaltered” Lisa. Regardless of the future, I have gleaned some keen insight into the depth of my subconscious programming and I also see that I am barely scratching the surface. Today my thoughts are, quite simply, participating in a life that is well-lived. This, this I can do today! This latest journey into “unaltered” has renewed my compassion for those new to alcohol sobriety. Confrontational, but worth the effort. Lots of love, lisa
Before I went to bed last night, I sat outside and looked at the stars (something I haven’t done in very long tme). I was overwhelmed by the vastness of the universe and wondering why our creator would even care about little me (and little us). Yet, I have no doubt at all that we’re all incredibly important in the scheme of things. I wept thinking about how everything is so big and small, important and meaningless, crystal clear and utterly confusing all at the same time. Your post is the first I’ve read this morning and seems to mirror these contradictions I’m feeling. Everything is so complicated and so simple. We need each other. Not just people in recovery but every last one of us. Keely and the dogs are so beautiful. I’ll be thinking about you today!
Karen, Well I am late to read your posts, but got over there before here … so that is good. I loved what you wrote. You manage to tug at my heart with your tender and insightful perspective. I am glad we crossed paths. <3 lisa
Great pictures, Lisa! I really like your description of addiction as one response to a mind “ill at ease”. There are so many healthier options and we do seem to find them if we stay on the path. Big picture stuff makes my head hurt, and you offer some concrete, simple suggestions here. Great post.
3B … Big picture stuff makes my head hurt too. I am finally coming down from my inflated perception and back to my piece of the planet. I see, more than ever, that I want to surround myself with people who focus on the solution. The world is too quick to such us into what “isn’t” … I want to be on the side of potential. I don’t need to be there all the time, just the majority of the time. Pushing myself helps me expand and retract and I see this as vital for my spiritual journey. I have come to see myself as a spiritual coach, rather than a recovery or life coach. Not sure how that will pan out, but I am more ready to step in. Your friendship is wonderful for me. Thank you for the love and support. You always show up at just the right time.xo lisa
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…. I love you!
Yes, there is something so broken in the human spirit today, more and more and more of us are looking to external fixes via drugs, alcohol, work, smartphones and computers, and meanwhile we’re all addicted, losing touch, and trying desperately to fill that hole, that void in us.
I am finally starting to read Infinite Jest by DFW (I’ll post the link for you later), but he talks to this, well, he talked to this. Since his sickness took him.
I am so glad you shared pictures!!! I love all your babies! And I loved the rawness and the truth in this post. After the fog, clarity.
This is the amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Infinite-Jest-David-Foster-Wallace/dp/0316066524
From one reviewer:
_Infinite Jest_ is a novel about American addictions: television, drugs, sex, fame, and indeed the American need to be addicted to something. An addiction to addictions. Wallace summarizes the book’s mood well when he says,
“There’s something particularly sad about it, something that doesn’t have very much to do with physical circumstances, or the economy, or any of the stuff that gets talked about in the news. It’s more like a stomach-level sadness. I see it in myself and my friends in different ways. It manifests itself as a kind of lostness. Whether it’s unique to our generation I really don’t know.”
The book is 1000+ pages, so it may take me a while to get through it! I’ll email you this week. xxx
Thank you for your support and love. I will be getting this book! I feel a want/need/longing to explore some different perceptions … you nailed it with this book.
You always inspire and move me.
I am grateful for your friendship.
Believe it. xox lisa
Going alone is definitely in my experience a waste of time. Surrender your ego and just say you know this stuff has me beat.
Wonderful words. Amen 🙂
Hi Lisa, guess I’m the newcomer to your blog, but that’s okay!! I’ve been on this jouney for a minute and I loved the simplicity and vibe from your words. I am trusting in the process and believing in the progress !! As long as I keep chasing my recovery as I did my drugs…all will be well. For real, the simplier I make my life, the more abundant it becomes. Don’t block the blessings!! Very Respectfully, Jen
I love when new people share. (We all read each other all week/year long, so you are the light at the end of the tunnel.) You sound great. The attitude you speak of is exactly what it takes. I love how you wrote, “don’t block the blessings” … this is good stuff for me to remember today too. Hope to see you around. This is an amazing community of sober people. A lot of love and support for the taking and giving. Blessings and love my new friend. Lisa