It’s just not enough to “want to change.” Want. It’s a word that leaves me hanging for more. It’s a perpetual state of never having—just longing. All my positive affirmations and wanting, as of late, have only produced more wanting and more longing. On the tail end of …
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Responsibility
If your new year resolution was to get sober, one of two things has happened. I am hopeful, for you, that it was success—statistics suggest otherwise. If you find yourself in the “I’ve relapsed” category there is still good news. Failure provides us with an accurate gauge for …
Read more →I love to beat myself up over every little thing I don’t get quite right. The words were thoughtless, the syntax confusing, the tone ambiguous, should have exercised, or shouldn’t have eaten that. I live with regret, despite that I am now taught otherwise. Am I to not regret the …
Read more →Now that we are half way into January most of us are clearer on the effort that goes into making a change. For me, change comes down to two choices: elimination or moderation. In most all cases I have gone for moderation first. After all, why totally remove …
Read more →A big block in my recovery from alcohol addiction (and addictions that followed) was deciphering the difference between seeing the situation for what it really was versus seeing the situation for how I hoped it was. Looking back I can see that I was more or less under …
Read more →We are tethered: the addict and the one-who-loves-the-addict. We don’t experience our life separate from those we love. Just because we aren’t in the same room doesn’t mean our actions aren’t detrimental. We each tug the other through our action—or lack of. What we do matters—for both of …
Read more →We speak these words often as addicts. They seem to fly out of our mouth upon exhale—regularly—even after we have gotten sober. I remember believing if I said sorry I was absolved of my behavior, my responsibility. If I blacked-out it wasn’t my fault, it was the alcohol’s …
Read more →Putting all our focus on “rehab” for long-term sobriety is about as smart as putting all our focus on “childbirth” for rearing children. While it is an important step for someone who chooses sobriety, it is foolish to think that a few weeks will have enough impact, let …
Read more →While I try and keep the blog upbeat (solutions, hope) there are days I feel blind-sided by people I love and humanity in general. What are we thinking? Why are we doing this? Where is the compassion? Why don’t we take the time to teach? Why don’t we …
Read more →We almost take comfort in the (presumed) fact that we are battling alcoholism. We prefer to think of alcoholism as something outside of us. We favor the idea that the alcohol is the problem; if only we could get rid of the alcohol, then we would be okay. …
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