the Battles We Fight are Within

We almost take comfort in the (presumed) fact that we are battling alcoholism. We prefer to think of alcoholism as something outside of us. We favor the idea that the alcohol is the problem; if only we could get rid of the alcohol, then we would be okay.  We believe that alcohol, of its own, is where the issue lies. If this were true, alcohol would be wreaking havoc in the grocery aisle—clearly this is not the case.

Alcohol becomes the problem when we use it to motivate, initiate, and regulate our feelings and function throughout all, or part of, our day. Alcohol becomes the problem when we abuse it. When we become psychologically and physically addicted to it.  The problem is our attachment to the alcohol, not the alcohol. The problem is within.

We hate thinking the issue is within us—actually, we abhor this notion. We can’t possibly be the problem. We look for answers to curtail or minimize the drinking in hopes of bargaining for a happy medium. We do this to exhaustion, all in the hope that alcohol is the problem.

Alcohol, not in us, is equally as revealing. We are miserable to be around and intolerable to self. Still we cannot see that we are uncomfortable in our own skin without altering our consciousness.

We aren’t fighting with alcohol; we are fighting and arguing with self. We are ill-equipped to have a conversation with self. We are so ill at ease (dis-eased) that we don’t even want to entertain that these words are possibly true. (Bravo if you are still reading and these words apply to you.)

We will never be comfortable until we learn the value and the art of having a healthy internal dialogue. Every decision we will ever make comes from within; from the agreements we have knowingly and unknowingly made with self. As long as we are abusing alcohol we overwrite the possibility that we can accurately hear and relate to our inner self.

The battle isn’t happening because we are drinking. The battle is happening because we don’t know who we are—and of what we do know, we don’t like what we see. If we want to escape the battle, we begin by learning how to relate to self. This starts when we decide to stop altering our mind.

No Responses to “the Battles We Fight are Within

  • I love this post. When I was in the program I was in they kept telling us that we use because of the pain that we are hiding from. That if we deal with the problems within us and resolve that and work on it then we will slowly start to heal. I love this blog you wrote today!! Your so very inspiring!!

    • Thanks for the comment. I love when people understand my thoughts. I never feel like I say much new, but I always try to connect and inspire. That’s one thing I admire in recovery people, we stick together because our life depends upon it—period.

  • You so need a G+ button…

  • While I don’t have a drinking problem, I do have one with food. I substituted the word “alcohol” for “food” and it totally applies to my situation. I love reading you, Lisa. You keep helping me connect the dots with each post you write. Thanks!!!!!

  • So true! When I first got sober and heard people discussing character defects in meetings, I looked around and said to myself, “Wow, these people are really hard on themselves. I certainly don’t have character defects! I’m just a really nice girl who likes to drink way too much.” Ha! Turns out, those people were being honest with themselves and I had no clue who the hell I really was!

    Great post!


    • Thanks for the thoughtful words. I can completely relate. Glad I stuck around… sounds like you are too. with love, Lisa

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.