Thank you dad … It’s nice that the memories get sweeter with time. I am still learning to appreciate life while it’s happening. Thank you for our beautiful home. I didn’t appreciate it until I had my own to take care of. Thank you for fun summer days …
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choice
It’s just not enough to “want to change.” Want. It’s a word that leaves me hanging for more. It’s a perpetual state of never having—just longing. All my positive affirmations and wanting, as of late, have only produced more wanting and more longing. On the tail end of …
Read more →I love to beat myself up over every little thing I don’t get quite right. The words were thoughtless, the syntax confusing, the tone ambiguous, should have exercised, or shouldn’t have eaten that. I live with regret, despite that I am now taught otherwise. Am I to not regret the …
Read more →The longer I am sober the more I appreciate the darkness. It forces me to engage. It forces me to see things anew. The very notion of darkness implies that I will need to interact in an unfamiliar manner. The goal has always been to get out of …
Read more →The problems I eliminated when I stopped drinking: My alcohol related problems. Every other problem, challenge, irritation, life lesson, ache, or issue was still waiting to greet me—without the luxury of a drink. What felt like my life becoming worse with each sober day was the reality of …
Read more →I love drinking. Drinking makes me feel better. Drinking is the answer. Drinking is the question. Drinking is fun. I’m more interesting when I’m drinking. Alcohol is only a problem when there isn’t enough. Life is better with a drink. My family loves it when I’m drinking.
Read more →No matter which direction I ultimately travel, I carry those unanswered questions. They are the ones that start with ‘what if?’ or ‘if only’. I transport them with me like my house key, as if leaving them behind will not allow reentry into my sanctuary of inadequacy. …
Read more →It spoke to me one thousand times. It patiently awaited my arrival. There was nothing I could do to shut it down. Nothing I could do to kill it. It was forever knocking at the entry way of my mind, my heart. I tried my best to slam …
Read more →No one can do for us what we must do for ourself. Simple in theory … challenging nonetheless. While the purpose of this blog is to facilitate spiritual growth in addicts, it is not limited to those who are new to sobriety. This journey in life does not …
Read more →The OGEL group started working on the 5-Key Competencies this month. Like many, it takes more than one go through for me to really embody new principles. I grew up believing that memorizing the information was good enough. But once the test was finished the information moved to …
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