Competency Three: I can be navigated

Where are you going? I want something new.

When do you leave? Soon, I hope.

What do you need? I don’t know.

Why don’t you know? I never asked.

When were you going to ask? I’m better on my own. Asking isn’t my way. I don’t trust.

Really? Yes.

So you are going somewhere, sometime, without knowing what you need, and not bothering to ask for help (nor are you going to) because you are better on your own? Do you actually believe you will arrive somewhere worth arriving? Until this moment I did.

Scenario II:
Where are you going? I want in a new life.

When do you leave? Now.

Do you have what you need? I do.

Am I Scenario I or Scenario II when I embark on something new?

If I am in a compromised situation it is safe to say I could benefit from some assistance.  The trouble is, I am resistant to help. I perpetuate a situation I say I do not want, because I am too proud to ask for help. And, if I do muster up the courage to ask, I am reluctant to follow another’s choice. I trust few and I implement only what I deem acceptable. I have conveniently forgotten that I am the one who created the situation I currently find myself. I have accepted, as fact, that my processing ability is superior to others, despite that I am not where I want to be in my life and others are. What does it take for me to give up my longing to do it my way? A question of the ages, but the answer always the same: It takes what it takes. Only I can decide when I am willing to do anything a new way (aka: unfamiliar, unsure, uncomfortable, unwelcoming).

There are three components to this competency: To ask, to receive, and to act upon guidance.  And I must do them in this order. Scenario II: I ask my GPS to find me an Italian restaurant. I receive visual and audio directions. I drive my car to the suggested location. I eat. I am satisfied. Scenario I: I am hungry. I tell my GPS I am hungry. It does nothing. I am still hungry. I tell you. You give me a sandwich. I hate sandwiches. I am angry at you for not giving me Italian. I am still hungry.

Competency three means 1) I become good at identifying what it is I want—exactly, 2) I know the appropriate and trustworthy person/resource to ask for direction, and 3) I follow the direction.

I am again at the issue of trust; a timeless theme. If I am to move forward I will need to find a trusted source. I must be willing to do it another way until I can learn to trust me again. I have been too willing for too long to strain my ears to hear what I wanted to hear. I can find resources/people who are kind, truthful, and possess integrity. In trusting another and seeing results I will have begun the humble journey of learning to trust self again. Trust in self is the bridge that will ultimately carry me to every new destination.


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