If I hadn’t lived it, I would be hard pressed to believe it. I don’t consider myself one of those people who gains from another’s experience. I was the kid (adult too) who wanted to: 1) know what everything felt like—first hand—and 2) possibly prove you wrong.
I did gain the experience, but rarely did I prove anyone wrong. All my efforts brought me deeper arrogance and isolation. Until they brought me humility.
Humility: That ripping away of everything I thought I needed (alcohol being the first of many) and the reboot to becoming whomever I decided I wanted to become.
Alcohol left me dishonest and isolated. I was a fake. And not just when I was drinking.
Even when I sleep my head can mess with me. My mind screams for something—anything—full well knowing that all addictive, obsessive and unloving behaviors are everything I no longer consciously choose.
I was going to have to let that raw drive me to something greater. I was built for fulfillment and abundance. The super power of recovery is that thing that says, take on life.
For one second I won’t be afraid.
I can fall.
I get back up.
I fall again.
I take on the unknown.
I feel my pain.
I laugh.
I cry. I find my way in the darkness.
After all, the light always prevails
Recovery isn’t about my global influence. It’s about impacting the quality of my life. I persevere life—deep fried life—clean and sober. I jump in without the luxury of knowing the end result. I am continuously willing to learn the difference between best efforts and perfection.
Yes, recovery is my super power! I get to see, feel and touch life on life’s terms. There will be no regrets. I refuse to look back at decades of drunkenness all because I was too scared to take on the challenge of recovery.
Will I stumble and hurt? Will others judge? Will I be tempted to quit? Yes, yes and yes.
My Super Power
I know the feeling of being human. But I will never again know the feeling of being drunk.
I will grow into an incredible version of me because I no longer need, nor am I willing, to hide.
If you’re addicted this post makes sense. If you’ve never experienced addiction this is ridiculous. Either way, I no longer care. I have super powers and I use them to make life incredible.
Lisa! Love this. As usual you get right down to the nitty gritty, and dig up love and awareness and all the richness that we can easily mine in our recovery. My arrogance was astounding, when I look back it. It had the wicked flip-side of feeling less than as well, so no matter what side of the coin that landed, I was in a state unfit to find my true self. It was hidden underneath lies and egotistical leanings.
I love the feeling of being *human*. Just knowing that I am doing the best I can as my Authentic Self and not a caricature of something I think I should be. And it can be painful and humbling, indeed. But the rewards! I get to touch life as it was meant to be.
Awesome post Lisa! I really relate to how you came to humility as a last resort. I still have that problem of not listening to people telling me something doesn’t work. I usually have to try it for myself first. MisTrust is a big defect of mine.
A good reminder for me today that everyone is built for fulfillment and abundance. Thanks, Lisa, for another profound and insightful post! What you write does my heat and mind good, which is a terrific superpower too.
HI Lisa, just passed the 10 year mark and yes, i do also feel superpowers like you’ve written about here. Being sober is right up there in my top 10 list of things i’ve done. I wrote a post and did a shout out to your blog because you were the first to mention ‘sobriety birthday’, which has stuck with me since.
Lisa! Love this. As usual you get right down to the nitty gritty, and dig up love and awareness and all the richness that we can easily mine in our recovery. My arrogance was astounding, when I look back it. It had the wicked flip-side of feeling less than as well, so no matter what side of the coin that landed, I was in a state unfit to find my true self. It was hidden underneath lies and egotistical leanings.
I love the feeling of being *human*. Just knowing that I am doing the best I can as my Authentic Self and not a caricature of something I think I should be. And it can be painful and humbling, indeed. But the rewards! I get to touch life as it was meant to be.
Thank you so much for this.
Blessings
Paul
“I get to touch life …” Love this. It’s good to share the Universe with such an incredible recovery pal. I am forever grateful for our friendship. L.
Y.E.S. ma’am!! Sobriety is for LIVING and you are a shining example of doing just that! Love, love, love your Super Power! xoxoxo
Love, Love, Love your super powers too. You teach me about caring for my beautiful body. ♥ L.
Awesome post Lisa! I really relate to how you came to humility as a last resort. I still have that problem of not listening to people telling me something doesn’t work. I usually have to try it for myself first. MisTrust is a big defect of mine.
A good reminder for me today that everyone is built for fulfillment and abundance. Thanks, Lisa, for another profound and insightful post! What you write does my heat and mind good, which is a terrific superpower too.
HI Lisa, just passed the 10 year mark and yes, i do also feel superpowers like you’ve written about here. Being sober is right up there in my top 10 list of things i’ve done. I wrote a post and did a shout out to your blog because you were the first to mention ‘sobriety birthday’, which has stuck with me since.
Hope you are well, have a great Christmas. James
http://stopping-drinking.com/december-21st-marks-10-year-anniversary/