Sober Ambiguity: 13 Confusing Phrases
Ever wonder why you don’t understand sober people?
Today’s post is a mini-lesson in making sense of applying another’s advice, suggestion, or philosophy to your recovery.
What they say: What is means: What it doesn’t mean:
| It’s all about you | Put your recovery first if you want to stay sober | You are better than everyone else and we should follow you |
| It’s not all about you | Stop thinking about yourself all the time | You’re insignificant and unimportant in the equation |
| Live in the moment | Don’t worry about drinking tomorrow or tonight. Focus on staying sober right now | Blow off commitments and don’t make any plans |
| Recovery requires planning | Learn what you can and cannot do sober, learn triggers | You need to learn Excel and prepare a spreadsheet if you want to succeed |
| Be of service to others | Stop thinking about yourself so much | Do everything others ask you without question |
| Put yourself first | If you don’t get and stay sober you’re risking everything | Your needs are the only ones that matter |
| Trust your instincts | Quiet your mind and find a peaceful answer | You should drink if your instincts tell you to do so |
| Don’t trust your instincts | Your best thinking got you into your current situation, try something different, anything different | You know nothing |
| Be honest | Begin practicing telling the truth | Hurt another’s feeling with harsh words/opinions |
| Restraint of tongue | Just because you think it doesn’t mean you need to say it, keep you mouth shut for a while | Silently let others treat you like a doormat/poorly |
| Find the truth | Look for the loving solution | Your truth is everyone’s truth, make sure everyone knows your truth |
| Fake it till you make it | Keep positive and grateful for what you do have | Lie to others about how good it is |
| It’s a disease | You have a choice to work at your recovery or not | You are stuck with your life as it is today and it’s not your fault |
Once I was determined to be done drinking,
there was plenty of time to figure life out—me out.
Who do I want to be today?
Do I have the tools to be or do that?
How do I acquire them?
Life is so much bigger than alcohol.
***
Lisa Neumann
Stellar, as always, Lisa.
The jerkbrain can *always* find an interpretation that meets its sick needs. The sanebrain has to fumble around sometimes, and wonder if “getting advice” (like from a sponsor, or a group, or a book) is the ‘sign of weakness’ the jerkbrain whispers about.
Sometimes just having an external source to touch base with can give the sanebrain the power it needs to keep me on the path.
Many thanks.
That’s one of the things I love about surrounding myself with mentally disciplined people. They can always help me, call me, on my BS.
Great post! That alcoholic brain of mine wants to twist those phrases to either keep me above or below. The extremes are egotistical in nature and keep me from the vulnerability of being present..and that is not what recovery is all about. Thanks for the reminders 🙂
Same with my brain—still. I thought that by now I’d be done with all this learning. Not the case. My head can still find ways to show me I am better or less than. Thank goodness I can give those thoughts to God and let my mind be healed.
ps. How is your coaching practice?
😀
“You need to learn Excel and prepare a spreadsheet if you want to succeed.”
I cracked-up at that one Lisa.
Of course you did. You always see the funny side of life. One of the things I love about you. xox
Reblogged this on sobrietychick and commented:
Awesome interpretation of what we tend to say during early sobriety and what it means vs. what it sounds like it means. Thank you sober identity.com 🙂
Thank you soberchick. I must get over to your blog and see where you are in your journey. It’s a great community here on the sober-blogosphere. Many supportive people. Lisa
Awesome.
And then there is the paradoxical embodiment of addiction transitioning into recovery. The bookends; “surrender in order to gain your freedom” and “give it away in order to keep it”. We can go on and on on..right! Within this realm, I heard this one in a meeting the other day that resonated – “if you can’t talk it out, you’re going to drink it down”. To that I add “or eat it down”. I hate that one as it still fools me today!
I really appreciated your visit on my new Facebook page!! Thanks a whole bunch 🙂
You are welcome. Love your work. Glad you shared link.
You are very kind 🙂