Today is the starting point

Regardless of how many past failures I have had, today is always the starting point. I will never start any new behavior tomorrow. Tomorrow never arrives and I am deceiving myself to think that my intentions should, could, can, might be postponed.

So why all the resistance to starting today, right now?

I am so locked into the way things are, even if they are miserable and not serving me. The fear of a feeling is holding me back. I can’t stand how it might feel to walk through something new. I want to think it is because I am afraid to fail, but that is a lie. I have been failing all along. The truth is that I afraid of a feeling. I am afraid of what I will do with that feeling once it arrives. The fear of walking through “the feeling” is worse than the misery of staying. So I stay!

For today I will choose one thing to “feel”. I will walk through an old behavior or habit today, for the whole day. I will place my head on my pillow tonight feeling accomplished, secure and loved. I will have faced “the feeling” and survived. Not only did I survive I am stronger.

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