The love in you is bigger than the addiction in you

Nothing in you is greater than the love in you. It’s just that you’ve let the love live so small. Love, in all its wisdom, is silently awaiting your humble return.

You are tortured with guilt. Until recent, the only way to escape it was to use again. It never gets dealt with because it masquerades as larger than self. The element of guilt alone keeps you in the grips of addiction. In your mind, dealing with the past is simply too painful. And this makes dealing with today too painful.

All the focus has gone to “don’t drink, don’t use.” You spend the day in “don’t” mode. Why not? Much of what you’ve done has been wrong, self-centered, and in many cases downright inappropriate. So maybe if you don’t do anything you can stay out of trouble.


You know that doesn’t work. You drink again and if you do not, you are miserable. No drink, no life skills, no tools, no support, no fellowship, no recognition of love … and you wonder why you fail at life. The pain too much to bear, you give in to your “disease.”

Your disease is lack of love. Your disease is imbalance. Disease does not flourish in a healthy environment. If you are going to heal it will have to come from the inside out. This means dealing with the past. You get to look at your past and heal. You get to look at your limiting beliefs and heal. You get to look at your principles and heal. You get to face your uncertainties, your unknowns, and overcome them. You get to live.

And what is the cost of this life?


Love is the price you pay to be free. You … love you … so much that there is no longer room for disease. Life is not about what you don’t get to do. Life is about what you get to do—today.

Until you see that the love is bigger it will remain smaller. The moment you see that love is bigger … IT IS BIGGER.

This isn’t an exercise you do with your mind. It’s a moment you feel in your heart. You can’t intellectualize love. Love just Is. Love will prevail if you call it forth.

It’s not that love hasn’t been there for you. It’s that you never learned to recognize all the ways that love manifests in your day. You never learned to see love, rely on love, and flourish with love.

Love will always be bigger and your inability to recognize this is your disease. Nothing, I repeat nothing, is bigger than the love that exists within you. You cannot destroy, kill, or harm this love.

It is never abandoning you. It will never hurt you. It will only lead you home. You may not like all the paths it takes you, but you will love the destination.

So this dormant love, when will you let it awaken? When will you let it be the focus of your day? How can you help? What can you bring? What words can you speak? Who can you serve?

If I were you, I’d start with loving you. Let the demons, the memories, and the hurts appear. Remember them, face them, forgive them, heal them, and get busy with your life. Will some of them revisit? Probably. But the love in you will continue to prevail if you call it forth.

Life isn’t about what you don’t get to do today. Today is about how much love you get to share with the world.

Go shine—love will keep you sober and flourishing … if you let it.


Lisa Neumann is a recovery life skills coach, author, speaker, and recovered addict.

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Learn more about universal laws, 5-key competencies, and principles in sobriety through coaching.

No Responses to “The love in you is bigger than the addiction in you

  • This is a life recovery message. It applies to more than just those with substance issues. In many respects, I see this as the catalyst for the “disease”. Love can only be poured in when we take the time to pour it out, so the vessel can be filled by someone else. <3

    • It’s all the same to me, but addicts have a way of thinking they are special (unique). They like their message written for them. Also, I try and be selective with my nouns. Some respond unfavorably to particular nouns. I try and reach those who may be triggered. I like to think Love is okay with this. So far so good. I am so pleased with the quality of sobriety/life I am seeing in my clients. Shocking really … or not? I am thrilled to do this work because I see incredible changes AND it doesn’t take 20 years. It takes about 6-12 months and then BAM they are on their way and the Universe sends more my way. you have been a lovely mentor for me. Thank you Red for your support both here and FB. Lots and lots of love, Lisa

      • Not. They are getting the best support from you. By supporting them when they are unable to support themselves, they can see your validation of them as human beings. One heart to another. It is the kindness we should show everyone, but we often feel as though it is something which must be deserved. Amazingly, when we give it to those who feel they do not deserve it, they mold it into something truly beautiful. In your case, they mold it into sobriety. It is a wonderful gift, Lisa.

        And you are very welcome. What you are doing is wonderful. You, too, need support. I am just glad I can help you.

        Much love,

  • Beautiful message, Lisa. I like the simple, concrete step to just love yourself, which doesn’t involve pampering so much as acceptance. Love is something anyone can believe in and, while it does feel mysterious, it’s also incredibly simple to practice. I really just love this post.

    • That just makes me happy. Regular ole happy. I see so many struggle with the “words” … I just hope people can find their way to a better life. I struggled for so long …. sober! I managed to stay dry, but was groping for answers. I know that is why I wrote the book. I guess I was hoping to simplify this process for others. I love this addicted blogging community, so much resonates. I relate to those with a day or those with 30 years. I am continuously learning. Shocking at times actually. Blessing for a beautiful day. Lisa

  • Beautiful! Keep shining my friend!

  • Lisa, Through your coaching, support and love… sometimes tough love! You have taught me how to love myself. Something I never knew how to do, I have lived my life being a doormat… always trying to earn love from others without realizing I was trying to earn love. You have put so many hours into helping me find myself. In finding myself I have come to love me! I have learned that loving myself is not selfish. It’s the very opposite. Loving myself gives me the love to share with others. Loving myself just a little bit more then the drink (alcohol) has helped me stay sober. Relationships are another obsession I have. When I love myself first I am able to love others in such a healthier way. Thanks to your patience and coaching I am changing from the inside out!!! I love you and I am so grateful that you’re in my life.

  • Hi Lisa, just getting around to “back issues” since the hurricane. This is a powerful post. It can be a challenge to love myself, and, truthfully, a fearful process because I fear the unknown. But here’s what I have learned: when you face your demons, calmly and persisistently, they do lessen. I am hopeful they will ultimately disappear!

    • Yes, I understand what you are saying. I must admit I still experience this feeling. I think as I grow and step into greater challenges I am met with new resistance. Resistance I didn’t even know was within. It is nothing like it used to be however, because today I trust the process. And The Process always sees me through. Hope you are rebounding from the hurricane … Glad your meeting is going well too. You have come a long way during the time I’ve been reading your posts. I am incredibly happy for you. love, Lisa

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