Conscious is the BEST high I have ever known

My last September Sunday to squeeze in a post. In the spirit of keeping my “monthly post” commitment I’m getting this up here today.  It’s a little less polished than I prefer, but—oh well.

Personal stuff:

Life is good, as my perceptions continue to transform. I am happy to say I am still on the path of unraveling old beliefs that I have clasped tightly. Shocking to me that at age 51 I can still be opening my mind to so many new ideas about awareness, observation, love, authenticity, polarity, abundance, and choice. I can honestly profess that my whole life would have been a blunder had I not quit drinking eleven years ago. Thank goodness I got started. Drinking is a TOTAL waste of energy, money, and time. It produces nothing but falseness and perpetuates only illusion.

Consciousness is where it’s at.

Conscious is the BEST high I have ever known. Way, way, way better than a glass of wine (in my case ‘bottle’). Far more inviting, sustainable, and rewarding. Every door that has ever been closed has opened. And within every room has been a whole new set of doors all for the choosing. I only had to wake the *** up.

And to top it off, it all scares me (a little or a lot) and it’s okay. I’m okay. I can try to learn new things because I can fail and it’s okay. I can look stupid, sound stupid, give the wrong answer or say I don’t know and none of it matters. None of it. We’re on an equal playing field. Everyone is learning something.

Who is this person?

I look around to see if there is someone else in the room.

There is not.

I am working on exciting recovery tools for those who choose recovery (as opposed to those who resist recovery). I am back in school (a triple decade dream) studying BioEnergetic Health (stuff I share about in my book). I work with incredible clients and get to watch their lives completely transform (love you girls). I am busy parenting two kids (btw: this one is the hardest), AND I know what it means to love myself today.  Something I thought I could never do.

Do I do it perfect? No.


Recovery Stuff:

There is only one person in the room you need to impress, love, support, nurture, and believe in—it’s you. As you begin to love you, you can begin to truly love another. All the support I chased outside of me was futile attempts at finding me. I was here all along. I was just too drunk to bother caring. When I sobered up I was too shame-filled to even try. I was busy hiding from the only person who could help me.


When I showed up for me, so did the Universe.

It’s not about giving up the addiction. It’s about getting conscious.

Just because you’ve stopped using/drinking doesn’t mean you’re conscious.

Life doesn’t have to hurt.

See you next month.
I love you.
Believe it.

20 Responses to “Conscious is the BEST high I have ever known

  • Yes. Consciousness is enlightenment.

  • Agreed. Conscious is great. High on life and all that. Conscious, on the other hand, can be frightful. For me it is. Trying to do the next right thing is hard for me. I have adopted the theme compliance not defiance to help keep me on path. As I finish up 572 days without the hooch I continue to feel numb about a lot things in life. I can feel disappointment and frustration fairly easy, but I have lots of difficulty feeling much joy or happiness. When and or how to I conjure up some joy? This feat I find most elusive and difficult.

    • 572 days! Golden.
      “Conjure up some joy” Love this line. Mind if I ask you a question? What lead you to believe that the numb would abate after the chemical was removed? The assumption is that the chemical was the issue, Yes/No? Without the altered state of consciousness we are left with feeling all the disappointment. All the disappointment we never wanted to feel in the first place.

      The best question ever, “When and how do I conjure up some joy?” Short answer: Do some coaching. Until you consciously program new data, the old will rule. This is a quantum physics fact. Start building upon something new. The results of this work are undeniable. I’ve seen it happen too many times to believe otherwise. If time/finances permit, 1) do some coaching 2) pick up Bruce Lipton’s book, Biology of Belief. You have some work to do. But it’s all doable. Welcome to day 573. ♥

      • Got Lipton’s book.

        • Excellent. I still refer to his book regularly. Keep me posted on your progress . BTW your integrity in your comment and your willingness to take action are both reprogrammed behavior. Keep it up. You old thinking doesn’t need to try and keep you stuck. It’s on autopilot. Continue to break away. Do you have my book? I can send you one if not. Happy day 577

  • “All the support I chased outside of ke was futile attempts at finding me. ” I like it….a lot.

    And ohhh… That “love” word again.

    Luv yas

    • ♥ ♥ ♥
      It’s all about the love.
      I’m glad you see you somewhere in the post.
      We look within.

  • A friend and I were just talking about how the growth process is ongoing. I love that about recovery, layers and layers. I love that recovering people continue to evolve no matter how many sober years. The fact that we can, and do, continue to grow gives me hope for humanity. I used to hide behind: “That’s just the way I am”…No longer!! Sometimes, exhausting for sure..but always worth the journey.

    • Yes, I see what you are saying. The element of the consequential severity is too high. Us addicts must commit to a greater purpose or we get sucked back into the fold of denial and illusion. Funny when I started reaching for the stars I saw them reaching back. It’s a lot of little steps and a lot of small moments. My job is to hang on and move toward the beauty that is life…to stop resisting. ♥

      Friends: Kathy has a Wellness workshop starting. Please check her out: Catlin Wellness/Nutrition

  • Lisa – This is such an inspiration to me right now!!! I’m trying to find the path to really loving and accepting who I am so to read this not only gave me joy but hope. How wonderful you are to be able to inspire people like that.

    You rock lady!


  • you. you are love in the human form and you shine. your shine ignites my shine. grateful. xo

  • Free2beme
    9 years ago

    Conscious IS the best high I’ve ever known! Wow…. so enlightening to read this post. It’s like my inner voice was just validated! You are so awesome!
    ” I can look stupid, sound stupid, give the wrong answer or say I don’t know and none of it matters. None of it. We’re on an equal playing field. Everyone is learning something.”
    That was my biggest fear in life…. looking stupid, being inferior, etc. So I drank away the insecurity. When all the while the drinking was making me MORE insecure…. “oh man, did I just say that? Ugh, they know I drank last night….” My secrets were secret.
    I just passed 20 months sober…. and it’s amazing how unashamed I am of WHO I am. Take me as I am. (I’ve waited 39 years to say that!) I look at my family and friends who drink still…. and while there are moments I want to feel like a “grown up” with an adult beverage…. there’s not an ounce of me that wants to feel like them after a few hours of their adult time. I can have fun and play and laugh and feel just as awesome sober. And the best part, I can enjoy every crazy moment of being a mom to my boys…. 8 months and 4 years old. Every moment (even the chaos) is cherished. Conscious IS the best high!! Thank you so much for bringing this to the light!! xo!

    • Make my day …rather, make my week!!!
      I hung on every word you wrote. I see it exactly the same way. It’s so beautiful that you are conscious with your kids still so young. My kids were 1 and 4 when I got in recovery. I feel like we grew up together. Lucky me. Don’t get me wrong there was (is) plenty of chaos, but amidst that chaos I am reaching for the Light—always (or as soon as I remember). So much love from me to you darling. Looking forward to journeying with you. When do you celebrate ‘2’?

      • Free2beme
        9 years ago

        I celebrate 2 in January! January 15…..It’s a “birthday” month for me and my boys….My boys were born on the 11th and 12th and I’ll celebrate on the 15th. I love that you say amidst the chaos you are reaching for the light… I love that! Isn’t it so much more refreshing than reaching for a bottle??? Sigh…. a breath of fresh air! Thank you for your blog…I look forward to reading your words all the time! I love forward to journeying with you as well! Lots of love!

  • Well, I finished reading the book. I find it a bit eclectic. It has given me some insight with the cell and membrane theories. Can you give me some tips to apply his explanations to finding some joy? Thanks.

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