Relapse is what brands us ‘addicts’. Non-addicts aren’t trying to stop, monitor, or manage their alcohol intake. It’s a non-issue for them.

And, any addict who says they never relapsed is lying. People … it’s what gets us in the club. We may have stayed clean since ‘detox’ or ‘rehab’ but we had plenty of trying-to-quit before detox or rehab was on the radar.

Relapse is not a thing to feel shameful about. Relapse is an

action to learn from.

Most addicts spend so much time feeling bad about the relapse that they never learn anything new about what happened. They just continue to feel remorseful.

When did remorse, self-doubt, shame, and regret help us achieve anything?

NEVER.

When does forgiveness, consciousness, love, and compassion help us achieve?

ALWAYS.

Yet we are too busy feeling bad about last night, last month, last year … the last two decades that we seem stuck on moving off this x-mark of shame. No one ever taught us to use that moment of regret as a tool to propel us forward. So we used another drink to shove it down. We never learned how to live past the moment of shame, so we just let the shame live on, and on,

And on,

And on,

And on—

Enough!

We have to get to the Enough place. Relapse has to have a new meaning for us or it will continue to take us out—every time!

We find our enough-ness when we reframe our relapse thinking.

Old thoughts: I’m such a screw-up. I’ll always be an addict.

New thoughts:  I’m human. I’ll have to deal with this issue (to/in some capacity) for the rest of my life and I’m willing to start now. There is much goodness to be experienced in life. I choose to learn how to experience life unaltered. I am willing to begin to see that I need to see a new way. Can something please show up to show me a new way. I can learn from past error. I can learn what it means to learn something new.

Who would I be with the thought that I was a person who could actually learn to be clean, sober, and thriving in my life? What does that look like? Have I ever bothered to imagine?

Just because I have known altering my mind doesn’t mean I can’t learn something new. Just because I have learned relapse doesn’t mean I can’t unlearn relapse.

Contrary to popular belief I do get to choose. But I can’t choose unless I get conscious to the power of choice within me. The fact: The subconscious will run the same programs, for infinity, if I do not intervene and put in a new program. By default I will revert to yesterday’s behavior with no effort on my part.

It’s really that simple. Easy, no. But simple—yes!

The question now becomes:

Am I willing to ditch my old, ingrained beliefs about me and what is possible or am I only willing to stay stuck as a victim of my addiction?

Option I: Freedom (work required)

Option II: Repeat of yesterday (no work required)

Relapse isn’t the problem. My thoughts about the relapse are the problem. The relapse is the gift that showed up to move me in a new direction. The relapse is trying to help me save my life.

If you drank last night and woke up today to read this, be thankful. You’ve been given another chance to choose again.

Choose something worth having. Because you can!

Today I get off the X.